An Open Letter.

I did not know how exactly I should put my feelings in this blog post. All I know is that it will help me relieve my feelings of depression. I’ve been in a roller coaster ride since the start of this year. May to June was my lowest point. I have to be strong for a relationship that started exactly 6 years ago. I had to hide the pain during my review days for the board examination and mostly I had to look at the brighter side of life for me to be focused on the Board Examinations.

I never see this coming. Oh, I knew it but I kept my eyes shut. I believed in what we have. I believed that we’re happy, we’re together and that no one else can break the bond between us. I trusted him. But he never showed that he is worthy of that trust. He proved me wrong. I thought he has changed after everything that we have gone through. He broke all the rules. He outdo the limitations. It’s not you anymore. And worst is, this is not me anymore and this is not what I deserve. I cannot forgive you for your mistakes. God knows how I wanted to but I can’t. It is the pain that holds me back. The fear of being betrayed again over and over again.

If you are reading this now, I am sorry. I am sorry for blogging about what happened to us. I just really need an outlet to cry my heart out. You know how painful it is for me. Letting go of you seems like an effortless decision for me, but you know, how many times I tried to hold on and trust you over and over again. Letting go of you and what we had doesn’t mean I am weak. It shows how strong I am to let go of someone and something I love so much, I cared so much. Our relationship is the best thing that ever happened to me. I would not trade it for anything or anyone. Whatever life may bring to me, I will never forget what I had with you. I’d be a hypocrite if I tell you that I am closing my doors to you. Deep inside my heart, I’ll waiting.. patiently waiting that someday, you would realize my worth.

With love, DYS. 

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